Sunday, December 5, 2010

Reunion

Ok – here we go again – 2nd draft, perhaps rougher than the first… I had just explored the various reactions this word evokes, commented on the writing process in general (loosely quoting Anne Lamotte as interviewed on the Brown Sessions), and vowed to plunge ahead with this work of spitting out this grain of sand that has been irritating me for years in hopes to find a pearl, and when I lifted my head from the keyboard it was all gone. So I follow the first rule of Christian publishing – JESUS SAVES – and retype…

Family Reunion – evokes visions for some of a dull gathering of people with whom you may or may not be related in the geneological web of families, listening to stories you may have heard before and pretended to be interested in at one time, eating lots of food and enduring talcum powder scented hugs and kissing paper thin cheeks of elderly aunties…

Class Reunion – madly trying to regain or reinvent yourself into a younger, hipper version of yourself so that those you meet there will curse themselves for not getting to know such a fascinating and charming individual 25 years ago.

Webster’s New World Dictionary (1990) defines the term as follows “reunion, n. a coming together again, as after separation.”

Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary (1983) defines it more extensively as follows: 1. a bringing or coming together again; a second union; a union formed anew after separation or discord; as a reunion of parts or particles of matter; a reunion of parties or sects. 2. a gathering of persons after separation; a meeting, assembly, or festive gathering, as of a family, familiar friends, associates, or members of a college class or society.

The more up to date dictionaries are stubbornly refusing to be found by our lazy modem, so though the world wide web might provide a cutting edge definition, for my purposes right now, these definitions will suffice.

Anne Lamotte said in an interview with Steve Brown (add link to Steve Brown Etc) that writing is hard word, that writer must write 3 or 4 pages in hope of finally on page 3 getting around to what they want to say...Thos of you who know me may guess at the direction of this post, but for some reason I have found every excuse not to get down to the writing... it has to do with considering the audience --

Cut that -- now I have to try to recreate what I typed in after my second technological mishap of the day, and since it's now after 10 pm with the increasing odds of having another mishap and the ensuing expletives escaping my lips, I am going to post after this paragraph.

The paragraph I wrote this afternoon was about how there is this tension -- wanting to be "reunited" with my best self and being reminded repeatedly that I have my feet solidly on the mud and clay of earthly existence (damn -- the words were so right before, and now they're gone!!) Oh well...stay tuned for the continuation of this gripping tale...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Spiritual Health Care

There is an old spiritual referring to a healing “Balm in Gilead.” When I found myself humming it one day, I decided to research the Biblical reference. In my concordance I found three scripture references: The caravan arrived after Joseph was thrown into the pit was carrying balm and spices from Gilead to Egypt. The Old Testament prophet Jeremiah begged the Lord for a medicine to heal the rebellion of his people, and then declared to them that they would search for medical healing in vain. Nothing.



I turned to Wikipedia, which told me, “This is a well-known traditional African-American spiritual. The “balm in Gilead” is a reference from the Old Testament, but the lyrics of this spiritual refer to the New Testament concept of salvation through Jesus Christ.” The refrain says,



There is a balm in Gilead
To make the wounded whole;
There is a balm in Gilead
To heal the sin-sick soul.

That made me think of all the different places we look for healing. The medical community does offer some healing, just as presumably the balm of Gilead was an effective medicine for its time. For physical ailments, there is no question that the medical community has answers – antibiotics, vaccines, organ transplants, etc. But what about emotional healing? Spiritual healing? The range of anti-depressents, anti-anxiety, and stronger phyciatric pharmacuticals is just as broad. I stand before testifying that I am thankful for Lexapro. Yet can a daily pill change a fundmentally flawed mindset?

My thoughts turn again to the issue of forgiveness. The other day I saw the Litany of Reconciliation in a print shop. It brought back the memory of the cathedral in Coventry, England, which John and I visited in '91. This Litany was familiar to us because the Chapel of the Resurrection at Valparaiso University is part of the Community of the Cross of Nails, and the Litany was said every Friday Chapel service. The site at Coventry was different, however, there we saw a tremendous visual of hollowed out cathedral next to a new and powerfully colorful modern facility. There is also a similar cathedral in Berlin, which for some reason didn’t quite have the same effect.


LITANY OF RECONCILIATION
Following the bombing of the Mediaeval Cathedral in 1940, Provost Howard had the words 'Father Forgive' inscribed on the wall behind the Altar of the ruined building. These words are used as the response in the Coventry Litany of Reconciliation, which is prayed in the ruins every Friday at noon, and is used throughout the world by the Community of the Cross of Nails.

All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

The hatred which divides nation from nation, race from race, class from class,
Father Forgive.
The covetous desires of people and nations to possess what is not their own,
Father Forgive.
The greed which exploits the work of human hands and lays waste the earth,
Father Forgive.
Our envy of the welfare and happiness of others,
Father Forgive.
Our indifference to the plight of the imprisoned, the homeless, the refugee,
Father Forgive.
The lust which dishonours the bodies of men, women and children,
Father Forgive.
The pride which leads us to trust in ourselves and not in God,
Father Forgive.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

I find it interesting that it speaks of reconciliation in terms of coming to grips with injustice – covering the sin as if it exists apart from the sinner. There is not the sense of restoring relationships, except in the last line, as if only once these evils are removed by the power of God’s forgiveness can we even begin to reach out to each other.
(To look in to more about the Cross of Nails Community, click http://www.coventrycathedral.org.uk/about-us/our-reconciliation-ministry.php)

In the Christian school where I teach, we have come to use a powerful image to solve conflicts. It refers to the medical terms for the way we hurt each other. A minor wound is just a scratch, and we should just brush it off. Scratching in the same place over and over leads to a more serious wound, like a laceration. A laceration can also be the result of a one-time attack. In this case, we need to apply first aid – the circle of forgiveness. The words, which many students have had to repeat many times, are, “Please forgive me for…” “I forgive you (which means I will not bring it up again),” or “I will try to forgive you with God’s help.” If a wound is serious, it needs medical attention, and the pastor or school administrator become involved.

As I was thinking of this, I remembered the few times I’ve seen blood poisoning. What started as a minor wound ended up infected, until we saw the tell tale signs of the red lines crawling out from the wound. It brought to mind the old practice of bleeding people. In the spiritual sense it seems that process is sometimes necessary – a draining the old and contaminated blood and transfusing the body with healthy life giving blood. This is no quick fix, there is no magic pill, no script that will solve the issues that run deep. I requires nothing less than renewing the mind, constantly. This litany sometimes must be repeated daily, showing that the desire is there, strength to live is out needs to be replenished constantly. (That is what litanies are for!) We will always be vulnerable to the toxicity of sin as long is we live in this world. But there is one who has conquered this world, Alleluia.

OK – get real, I tell myself, get off the pulpit. Everyone has a besetting sin – for me it’s food, novels, and sleep. These three take turns in my life. They are an ineffective balm – like putting Icy Hot or Ben Gay on a compound fracture. Like so many (if not all of us), I have wounds that are deep, torn ligaments, and all.
I had an interesting conversation with our son Ben the other day. I think he was telling me something was a waste of his time. Benny said, “I’m a kid, my time is more valuable.” To my I quizzical look, he explained, “Yeah – I’ll only be a kid for so long, don’t you wish you could be a kid again?”
“Not really,” I responded.
“You must have had a bad childhood."
“Not really, I’m just having a better adulthood.” The words came out of my mouth before I had time to think about them. What a gift!

Those wounds of my childhood are still there, and up to a point I have been applying various balms to distract me from the residual pain. But I’ve also made various efforts at first aid – apologies written and said, efforts at making amends. Those soothe and have been in many ways a matter of survival. But what has been most effective is the time I’ve spent opposite a wise and caring counselor. But still, sometimes something hits it just right and my insides react violently without me even knowing it – I cringe and writhe on the inside, and I’m not always sure exactly why. I thought I dealt with that issue. Why is the pain still so fresh?

The answer seems to lie in the second and third verses of that old hymn, where it speaks of the Holy Spirit reviving, and the act of telling about Jesus:

If you cannot speak like Peter,
If you cannot preach like Paul
Go home and tell your loved ones
He died to save us all.

Somehow this becomes part of the healing, letting your pain, even the current struggle, work to heal others. Kind of like a bit of the virus growing to make a vaccine. Allowing the pain to wash over you, but not succumbing to it; letting it be redeemed in another. It makes the wounded whole, heals sin-sick souls.

Something about that Litany of Reconciliation always got me…it hits on so many points of my sinfulness. It does not ask only for personal forgiveness, or forgiving of others who “know not what they are doing,” but asks for forgiveness of the sin itself – “Lord attack, extract, neutralize that hatred, jealousy, greed, etc. in me and in others…put me under the knife if you must, amputate if gangrene has set in…I’ve seen what this poison can do, and I’ve seen where you have made whole those who have lost great parts of themselves. I’m ready. Amen, let it be so.