Generosity and Emptiness

I've found a wonderful new tool to help me understand the Bible better.  It also makes me look smart.  It's www.blueletterbible.org .  There you can look up a verse in any version you want, and then by clicking the little "C" button in the left margin, you can expand that verse to include the Greek (or Hebrew) words that go with the English words.  Click further, and you can see what other verses include the word in question, and how it is translated into English in other contexts.  Fascinating stuff for a word nerd like me.

Of course I found out about this tool from a podcast interview of Keri Wyatt Kent on Midday Connection.  She actually takes a word each week and studies it in this way -- what does the Bible say about the word "afraid," "bless," "burden," or "call"? Click on the following link if you want to read more - http://www.moodyradio.org/brd_ProgramMainPage.aspx?id=73036

The word I'm looking at today is ἁπλότης (haplotēs), which occurs 8 times in 8 verses in the Greek concordance of the NASB. (see, don't I sound brilliant?).  In 2 Cor. 9:11, which is where I started, it is translated as generosity: You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. But in 2 Cor. 11:3, it's translated as simplicity: But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from [your simplicity and purity of ] devotion to Christ.   The definition of the Greek word is "singleness, simplicity, mental honesty, free from pretense and hypocrisy, sincerity, not self-seeking, openness of heart manifesting itself by generosity."  Wow, that's of lot of meaning packed into one word!

What started me on this path is the question of stewardship.  We just finished up a message series on stewardship at church,  www.messiahgrh,org , and that combined with the prospect of taking on more leadership at church has prompted the following questions - Is it ever appropriate to serve at church to fill a need in yourself?  For example, if I have a need to be recognized and praised for my gifts, is it appropriate to use those gifts in service to the church in order to receive that recognition and praise? 

Intuitively I know what the answer is.  Our service should not be self-seeking.  The definition of generosity above confirms that.  Our service should come from a heart overflowing in thankfulness to God, not from a place of emptiness and need.

But mental honesty also dictates that we do have needs.  I sometimes feel like my needs are gaping holes in my soul.  Can the act of service fill those holes?   How can I even serve when I feel so empty? Or, will riches come back to me if I give even though I feel as if I have nothing?  Can I sow generously in hopes of also reaping generously (2 Cor. 9:6)?

This study took me also to 2 Cor. 9:13 - "Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else."  I decided to look up the word "service" in this verse.  It's διακονία diakonia, which is translated also as ministry, in terms of proclaiming and promoting religion, as well a distributing food to the needy, and preparing food.  This word is used to describe what distracts Martha when Jesus visited.  Interestingly enough, this word also describes both what the disciples decided to delegate (the distribution of food), and what they devoted themselves to -- the ministry of the word.  It can both distract and result in thanksgiving.

So, from all this study, do I have any answers?  Not really.  Part of me feels badly when I admit that I have an emptiness in my soul.  There's an accusing voice that says, "And you call yourself a Christian?"  But does that admission disqualify me from service?  Or does it simply indicate that I need to take that feeling of emptiness to God for Him to fill?  And then, can I serve in such a way that admits my weakness and shows others where to go for healing?  I think this is mental honesty, freedom from pretense and hypocrisy, and an openness of heart that I hope will lead to generosity.